Monday, 29 May 2023

Sacrificed For The Sake Of A Neighbor's Cat Poop-Free Ornamental Flower Pot

 I. The Sacrificial Lambs (3)








II. The Neighbor's Ornamental Flower Pot






III. Nature Of The Sacrifice

Kicked out of the house

For stubbornly refusing to respond to discipline

And making life hellish for me

Each time the sanctity of the ornamental flower pot in question 

Was desecrated with unholy poop

Belonging to one, or all, of you

Each time one, or all, of you

Was caught red-handed

With your hand in the cookie jar,

So to speak,

Or by the evidence left behind

Although the typical youthful exuberance expected of three-month-old kittens

Offered in your defense by your counsel

Does weigh considerably in your favor. 

So, what shall the verdict be,

To remain in exile on the other side of the school in front

Where you were relocated in the middle of the night

Or be brought back in three days time

 If search-and-locate attempts were favorable?

As usual, we shall let the judge, or the gods, 

Whichever the case might be, 

Decide.

After all, an exiled cat once managed to find its way back

All by itself in the past,

And just as kittens were always going missing, 

As if snatched by an unseen hand,

And in some cases reappearing after a few days,

As if led by an unseen hand,

The gods could always send an angel to lead you back,

If they so desired,

Couldn't they?

On the other hand,

Perhaps you were a hundred times better off where you were,

For the simple reason that wherever you were,

You were not getting the trashing of your lives 

For bad behavior in my judgement

As would the case be had you been here

Each time you needed to be disciplined 

For bad behavior in my judgement

Which at times was a bit too extreme and a bit too harsh

In terms of getting flogged until it seemed,

In my own words,

As if the hand wielding the rod 

Was about to fall off,

Such was the force of the flogging,

In which case,

A more fitting title would be,

Exiled For Your Own Good,

Perhaps?

But only for now, 

For I have sworn,

With upraised hand,

To come looking for you 

In view of bringing you back

To the place of your birth

The day I struck the jackpot

And found myself in a position

To buy the house from the neighbors next door on the left,

Where the offending ornamental flower pot was, 

And once the carrot dangled before them was of a size they could not say no to

And they gladly moved out 

And the house was mine,

The first thing to be done

Was to break the offending ornamental flower pot

Into a million pieces 

And then come looking for you,

So stay safe and healthy,

For as surely as the sun rises in the east and sets in the west,

I shall do exactly as I have sworn to do,

With upraised hand,

And which I shall,

With God's help and blessings,

Lord, hear my prayer, 

Amen.

Sunday, 8 January 2023

R.I.P. Hujan Carlos s/o Eve Carlos

 IN MEMORIAM

Hujan Carlos s/o Eve Carlos

Born: 2nd August 2022

Died: 8th January 2023

Cause Of Death: Severe Facial Injuries & A Broken Neck From A Road Accident

Eulogy

Your Lack Of The Sense Of Danger
Plus
Your Sense Of Adventurism On The Road
Was Your Downfall, Your Undoing,
Because
'Road Users Seldom Take The Trouble
To Avoid Hitting Dogs Or Cats
Stupid Enough To Die On The Road -- Anonymous'
And Yet 
A Silent Scream From My Inconsolable Heart
Reaches Upwards To The Heavens 
For The Ignoble Way The Gods Treated You 
In Determining The Violent Manner Of Your Death 
&
The Pathetic Condition In Which You Would Be Found
 A Whole Day Later Or More









Sunday, 6 November 2022

R.I.P. Grey Wolf Carlos

 

 


IN MEMORIAM

Grey Wolf Carlos s/o Pretty Girl Carlos b/o Black Panther Carlos

Born: 27th May 2022

Died: 6th October 2022

Cause of Death: Abnormal Abdominal Swelling (As If Pregnant) + Kidney/Liver Complications

Observer View: Untested Weapon Testing By The Lord's Angel Of Death As Far As This Household Was Concerned

Eulogy

Gallantly Fought 

Against The Angel Of Death

For Three Days 

Before Finally Yielding

To The Final Thrust Of His Sabre



Sunday, 25 September 2022

M.I.A. Big Boy Carlos III s/o Eve Carlos

 








Date of Birth: 14th March 2022          

Date of Disappearance: 23rd Sept. 2022

Possible Causes of Disappearance:

         (A) Killed By A Car/Civet Cat/Monitor Lizard/ Dog &               Body Disposed Of By Unknown Person/Persons

(B) Typical Male Cat Walkabout Upon Reaching 
Adulthood Usually A One-Way Trip

(C) Taken Away By The Mythical Horses & Chariots Of Israel For Reasons Unknown


Friday, 13 May 2022

R.I.P. Girl Baby Carlos II d/o Eve Carlos

 IN MEMORIAM

Girl Baby Carlos II

Born: 25th October 2021

Died: 13th April 2022

Cause Of Death: Massive Brain Hemorrhage Resulting In Seizure After Seizure After Seizure Until Nothing Was Left To Be Squeezed Out From Its Seizure-Spent Body

Eulogy

"Nice touch, Angel Of Death.
Did you improvise
Or were you following orders
Like the good motherf*****g dog you were?"



R.I.P. Whitey Girl Carlos

 IN MEMORIAM

Whitey Girl Carlos

Born: July / August 2018* 

Died: 5th April 2022* 

Cause Of Death: Unknown

Circumstances Of Death: Found Dead On Doorstep Of Neighbor Across The Road One Morning About One Month Ago As Narrated By Said Neighbor Yesterday,13th May 2022. 

*[estimates]

"The heart, no matter how many times it gets broken,
Always heals in the course of time, like it or not.
This broken heart of mine, my Whitey Girl, 
Shall in time too recover
But for that to happen, 
It needs to shed tears of grief and misery
In mourning its loss
Day after day, night after night,
Until the last teardrop finally falls.
My poor Whitey 
Girl. 
Sorry I was not there 
To hold you one last time
The day you died."










R.I.P. Hansel Carlos

 IN MEMORIAM Hansel Carlos Born: 3rd June 2023 Died: 26th November 2023 (est.) Found Dead: 28th November 2023 (2330 hours) Probable Cause of...