IN MEMORIAM
Hansel Carlos
Born: 3rd June 2023
Died: 26th November 2023 (est.)
Found Dead: 28th November 2023 (2330 hours)
Probable Cause of Death: Struck On The Right Side Of The Head By An Unknown Vehicle
Eulogy
Your twin sister,
Gretel,
Went missing not too long ago,
And now here you are,
Dead.
How you managed to find your way back,
From the scene of the road accident
To the spot you were found earlier tonight,
Dead but not stiff,
Decomposed but not maggot-infested,
Yet smelling strongly of decay,
Underneath the lounge chair in my room
Is beyond comprehension.
You would have been killed instantly,
A blow like that,
To the side of the head
With such force your eyeballs
Were knocked somewhat out of their sockets,
Yet you managed to find your way back
To where you were found earlier tonight.
How, may I ask, did you accomplish such an impossible feat?
Did some unseen hand lift up your motionless body
And bring it back here to where you were found
Purely by accident?
It couldn't have been one of the neighborhood residents
From that side of the road,
Surely,
Who would have come a-calling outside the gate
To report a dead cat,
Assumed to be one of yours, dear Neighbor,
As has happened in the past,
Twice, actually,
Not very long ago either.
How nice.
Yes, how nice of your guardian angel
To bring your dead body back to me
For burial
After allowing you to die on the road
Like a dog
Hit by a car
Gleefully.
Did the driver enjoy hitting you?
Was he, or she, spurred on by an excited child
In the backseat
Perhaps
Who steered his or her aim as he or she drove
Perhaps?
Let's ask the one who,
As surely as the sun rises in the east
And sets in the west,
Knows the circumstances of your death,
Your sloppy guardian angel.
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