R.I.P. Whitey Girl Carlos

 IN MEMORIAM

Whitey Girl Carlos

Born: July / August 2018* 

Died: 5th April 2022* 

Cause Of Death: Unknown

Circumstances Of Death: Found Dead On Doorstep Of Neighbor Across The Road One Morning About One Month Ago As Narrated By Said Neighbor Yesterday,13th May 2022. 

*[estimates]

"The heart, no matter how many times it gets broken,
Always heals in the course of time, like it or not.
This broken heart of mine, my Whitey Girl, 
Shall in time too recover
But for that to happen, 
It needs to shed tears of grief and misery
In mourning its loss
Day after day, night after night,
Until the last teardrop finally falls.
My poor Whitey Girl. 
Sorry I was not there 
To hold you one last time
The day you died."

R.I.P. Big Boy Baby

 IN MEMORIAM

Big Boy Baby Carlos

Born: Mid-June 2021

Died: 30th March 2022

Suspected Cause Of Death: Struck In The Face By A Car

Ah, Angel of Death, 

It's been a long time. 

So, business as usual, I see.

How have I angered the one who sent you, your boss,

You know, he who decides who lives and who dies,

And, not only that, in which manner of death it was to be,

He who has a million ways by which to send you forth

To do his dirty work.

Have a nice day, Motherf****r!

The Crazy Things People In Rich & Developed Countries Do For Fun & Entertainment & Perhaps Also For A Living

 

Pussycats & Ping Pong Balls

 

Don't Call Me If You Need A Plumber

 

Corrective Action

Date of Experiment: 5th January 2022

Aim of Experiment: To Fix The Problem As Displayed Above

Tools: (i) Adjustable Spanner 1 Unit

           (ii) PTFE Thread Seal Tape 1 Roll

Method: Increase thickness of tap threaded section with sufficient amount of PTFE tape so that the tap arrives at the upright position after screwing it in tightly enough.

Remarks: PTFE --> Polytetrafluoroethylene, abbreviation.

R.I.P. Olga

IN MEMORIAM

Olga Carlos

Born: Oct / Nov 2020

Died: 28th April 2021

Probable Cause Of Death: Heart Failure

'The Work Of A Jealous God 

Who Couldn't Bear The Thought

Of Being Out-Rivalled

By Such Beauty 

As Found In A Cat'

 

R.I.P. Dimitri

 IN MEMORIAM

Dimitri Carlos

Born: Sept / Oct 2020

Died: 27th April 2021

Probable Cause Of Death: Chronic Feline Asthma

'The Lord Giveth & The Lord Taketh'

[Correct Response: Halleluyah! Praise The Lord!]

[Incorrect Response: Bullsh*t!]